Cuti!!

Dear nouri,

first of all... muahahahahahahahahaha! (gila dah)
Phew! FINALLY! CUTI! im totally going insane here and im so glad the hols is back! :)
winter is such a gloomy weather to go to class :( and its suppose to be the hardest quarter :'( il'' die of insanity.

anyway, going to memphis this saturday. hurm.. dont feel much like it cuz i was thinking of cathcing up with some sleep but i dont think that will be appropriate at my pak ndak's house. sigh..

lin serious merepek this week. i didnt go to class on tuesday AND weds (even weds is only iceskating) and i didnt go to work on weds (cuz of test) AND thursday (i slept because tired of three test in 1 day). but im relizing im making too much excuses nowadays. i dont have the motivation of learning anymore. Hopefully it wont be like my SPM where i gave up for three whole months and decided to start studying a week from SPM. Cuz seriously, 3 months is one whole quarter!

its 3am. gonna go back to sleep soon! bes2!! BLEY TIDO!!! hahahaha. *terlalu happy rasa cam gila

crazy (in love with you)
lin

Tuesday Terror

Nouri

I missed wholeday of class today. Im too tired to get out of my bed. Im screwed.

Lin

Sengal badan ku.. Haih..

Dear Nouri,

tak semangat buat hmwk.. letih la :(

btw, i went snowboarding last night kan, so my whole body is really2 sore. So, bila mandi tadi tiba2 i notice, my biceps are HUGE! :P

anyway, maybe bengkak sikit because of yesterday. but if its sore, meaning its making muscle kan?
its so cool! :P i dont even have to do pushups anymore! :) but im planning to start doing pushups agaain cuz i dont want this snowboarding muscles to go away! Even my left arm is rock hard and i hardly use that! and the thing is, i only need to flex and not cramp it up.. haha. im being so tomboy right now! oh, well. better than being petite, sweet and have no fun ;)

i wish i can sleep all day and not need to go to class this week. malas dah

love
lin.

Aidiladha di perantauan..

To my dearest Nouri.

Im glad Monday is OVER!!!!!!!!! ANd i tell you a secret.. lin ponteng kelas BIO! Scary!

Im feeling so guilty. Im even scared that i'll fail the class. Thank god the midterm is after the christmast hols or I'll be pressured and tensed for the whole quarter for not going to ONE class.
Dont tell my dad!

Counting the days for hols so i can go to memphis for two weeks.. No classes.. No rochester.. No sighing and self pity because hungry and no food. yeay! :)

Guess what? The wether was -12 celcius today! Chilly!

I had fun ine ice skating class again. I think I've found a new hobby. Next, I'll love to take the rock climbing class. Btw, Next year's winter quarter, me and insyirah planning nak amik snowboarding class! (MARA is paying for the 80 dollars tuition fee!) We're so hip now! Haha!

If you are wondering, i didnt go to class cuz i didnt finish my chem lab report even though i only slept for 1 hour yesterday. Monday's and thursdays class are my longest class ever. 8am till 5pm in the afternoon. Humph.

But I have no class on wednesday (except ice skating) and no class on friday!

So, that was my raya. Not sleeping, doing homework, ponteng kelas bio, main ice skating, and oh yeah, pi kerja satgi.. Sad, sad..

Few people said hari raya to me today and i was like, eh, right.. i completely forgot.. happy eid to you too.. Every single time! See. smpi hari raya pun tak sedar. Nak balik :(

Missing home, and missing you,
Lin

The jungle hubby

For my real life jungle man who smells in the morning even after shower, :P

Im a city damsel lost in the jungle,
trying to figure my way for survival,
my clothes are worn, hand filled with torns
I wish it now that I wasn't born

I tried making fire out of rocks,
but what I managed was to loose my socks,
now I'm on my bare feet I barely can walk,
I wished there was someone for me to talk

So one day I stared to the sun so bright,
witnessed by the snakes, bears and trees alike
I wished for a man to save me from this blues,
and maybe he could help me find my gucci shoes

So suddenly I heared a wild yell ' aaaAAAAaaaAAAH'!
How my heart had leaped and yelled hoorah!
My dream of a hero had finally come,
so I wonder where the voice had actually came from

I searched high, I searched low,
I asked the frog, I asked the doe
Where was the man who owned the voice,
I was so happy, I tried to regain my poise

So while I was trying to straighten up,
dusting my clothes,
I hear a tweak from a tree so close
I looked up and there I saw
A man with a hair so wild as wild boar ----> my nouri yang tak suka sikat rambut :P

He stood between the tree looking so fine, ---> your 6 packs.. haha
I'd smiled at him if only my teeth could shine
But it's been a while since I last had brushed,
so instead I look down and sheepishly blushed

He came down half naked as he is,
staring me down as much as he please
For the jungle is his home, his territory,
While Im only a minor character in this love story

'me Tarzan' he said to me,
and he held his hand to feel my heart beat
It was pumping a hundred million to a second,
as I looked to his face,
i know this man would be my husband

He grabbed me by his hand and pulled me on his back
He gave me his tour of his jungle track
We swung high between the trees
And he showed the way to live with ease

So came the time that I was truly happy,
just me and my honey, the jungle hubby,
He saved the damsel in distress is the ending of this poetry,
and for the finishing touch,
I'll tell you that his name is Nouri


P.S: Hope you like it. :) nak sangat jungle theme yek? Muah!

Love,
Jane/Lin :P

Chocolate on Ice

Dear Nouri,

I went for the chocolate on ice event. Its basically just a lot of chocs dessert to eat and free admission for ice skating. One guy came by and asked we where im from cuz he said i skate tremendously :P anyway, i told him to teach me how to stop, it worked a lil bit by slowing me down but i didnt manage to stop completely. it was fun tho.

Im dissapointed in you. I tought you check this often but it turns out you dont. I dont like telling you to check it cuz that'll blow the suprise or the excitement. I mean, why should i tell you when to check this blog, you should know to check it by yourself. I write it for you, and i thought you appreciate it. If you really do, you should have been checking everyday to know when is the next post. and there i go trying to be romantic, but all it turns out that you make me cry. im really sad.

Ive been doing your facebooking game for every 15mins im online cuz you want me to. But when you are online, you dont even bother to play it. And at least for the blog you could have checked it once a day. compared to 15mins for me for probably 6 hours a day for your game. it makes me feel so pathetic, no being appriciated and all.

I know you are sorry. I know i should forgive you. However from this day on, i couldnt help to think that you check this site just because i told you so, not because you want to. :'(

Maybe im being irrational, but you really dont know how it breaks my heart.


it hurts in the inside,
lin

My past

Nuni,

I was lost in darkness a few years ago
The world was gloomy and i was just a shadow
I creep in the depths of night in silent
Not knowing what to say or what to do

I used to cry alone in my bed
my soul was lost and my heart was crushed
Hugging my bear ilos, i wept my tears
and i saw my hopes all drained and flushed

Maybe i wasnt suicidal but i could have been
my thoughts was of death and was of pain
for then i was numb, i couldnt feel
i wonder if i was actually even sane

i go through life alone and isolated
i learn to be independent and to be autonomous
i hardly trust anyone, i rarely have friends
i was mostly know as i was infamous

i was known to do things as i like
and known to have things my way
most of the time i wouldnt mind, i wouldnt care
but other days it was tough, i felt dark and grey

That was my past, my sorrow and despair,
i hardened my heart to stand on my own
i may look tough and i may look cold
but the pool of tears, that wasnt shown

i dun mind now, i dont need pity
i'll continue doing things as i please
it maybe sad, it maybe pathetic
but its only thing that make me feel at ease

hurm.. i dont know what else to do with this one.. my head is blank and i cant think of anything. this is crap anyways.. sigh.

love,
lin

My treasure

Ahoy matey,

Im a pirate of the carribean sea
Searching for a treasure beneath the water,
You wonder what is the treasure, what could it be
A million gold coins or a million green paper.

I swam far, i dove deep,
fighting the current, fighting the seaweed
to find the treasure that my heart seek
was not a simple task or an easy feat.

At last i found the treasure gleaming under the water,
an amazing view what my eyes had capture,
i open the chest with my heart so true,
and honey, i found that my treasure is you :)

I did this in the shower... haha.. me such a dummy.. kinda cheesy right?

Ships Ahoy!
Lin

I can skate BACKWARDS!

A note for Nouri :

I went ice skating after i finished the poem. I can now skate BACKWARDS! :)

still trying to figure how to stop though :P

Love,
Lin

Another lame attempt for an apology

To my dearest nouri,

They were times we were happy
And i see the joy on your face
we were young, we were joyful, and oh, how we were merry
but those days were gone and we now seem out of place

I used to laugh in glee being with you,
you're my joker man, my clown with a really big nose
You should understand i never meant to hurt you
but with an ego like mine, not sadness but anger arose.

its a stab in the heart for us to be apart
how i long to go home and to be by your side
this long months away from you had been really hard
and i still have to wait for a few years untill i'll be your bride

This waiting and distance becomes our foe
at times it makes me forget how i feel when we were together
how you used to make me shine and make me glow
and if i was sad and cried, you can make me feel so much better

Now i sometimes forget, the bliss we used to own
And when works starts to pile up, i will start to moan
i will forget to treat you nicely which you should had deserve
and one or twice, i probably get on your nerves

im sorry for all the pain you had to bear
maybe i havent shown you,
but you should know that i really care
my heart still bleeds when i see you sad
though most of the times it was because i was mad

im grateful for how you still hold firm on the ground
you didnt squeak or either make any sound,
you shut your sorrow and distress away from me
when you could have leave me and set yourself free

You should know that my heart will always belong to you
and i will always love you no matter what you do
and when im angry or moody, it doesnt mean that i didnt care
i guess its just another phase you would probably have to bear

we will have to try hard to make this work
and i will try my best not to act like a jerk
i hope you forgive me for all the things i have done
and i will try my best to be much more fun

we will smile and laugh again hopefully one day
to all the stupid, crazy jokes you have to say
and so, i hope you accept this crappy poetry
as my another lame attempt for an apology

Loving you each passing second,
Lin

A lame attempt for an apology

love is bitter and love is blind.
but love could be bliss though thats hard to find.
Sigh.......
________________________________________

I want you to believe me when I say, that
I love you with all my heart
and that its killing me every second, minute and passing day,
that we are miles and miles apart.

I admit Ive been acting up lately
and i may have hurt you a long the way

*blank*

________________________________________

Im very rusty.. cant even write two verse.. and the verse i wrote is like very immature. Sigh.
________________________________________

To my dearest nouri,

They were times we were happy
And i see the joy on your face
we were young, we were joyful, and oh, how we were merry
but those days were gone and we now seem out of place

I used to laugh in glee being with you,
you're my joker man, my clown with a really big nose
You should understand i never ment to hurt you
but with an ego like mine, not sadness but anger arose.

-------to be continued------------- ( hopefully)

sigh.. that killed 20 mins of my time.

I gotta go to work. its 10.30pm.

I'd like to continue dat, have some motivation to write. but im afraid by the time i get back from work at 1am, there's no more of that motivation anymore. so, it will probably be stuck at that.
Cuz i usually write it at one go. hurm.. probably not.

But all im saying is. that im sorry. you know how i am. i get so stressed i get easily irritated and you're the one i usually let it out at. Im sorry. I really mean it.

im just so tired and agitated this week. hope you understand. I never want you to leave me. Im not trying to drive you away from me. You know how im scared to loose you. If only you were with me right now and everything will be okay again.

Im lame at poetry, i know. but i just like making things rhyme, at least i used to. now these were just awful attempts at it. But at least you know that im giving an effort right?

i feel so forlorn. :'(

i better be going now. Dun wanna be late for work tho its already 10.40pm.

I love you, I miss you.

Lin

My poetic days...

I used to write poems a lot in during form 2 till early of form 4
This is only a few that i still have a copy of. I even wrote a song but i lost it.. sigh.
All of this is pretty lame though...

Anyway, here it goes.

UNTITLED
today will be the last
for me to change the past
the horror that conqured me
shall you never ever see

i tried to change the history
but who cares i might let it be
for future is what you need
a light to shine the dark street

i work my way to come up top
i will rise everytime i drop
help me if i' wrong
without you i cant be strong.

Alone
darkness surrounds me
i'm blind and alone
voices deafning me
makes me wanna scream
mixed feeling i can't understand
makes me wanna tear my heart out
but it's hope that gathered me
and allow me to stand alone


Heart of Revenge (if you ever cheat on me...)

My heart in despair
the pain i cannot bare
when your heart had been torn
by someone you really care

Toss the ring at his face
Toss the roses into the fire
The memories you cannot erase
The rejection of your heart and desire

Tears may had drop
blood may had spill
Though you may not come out top
your anger had been fulfill

Wash off your dirty hands
Put away the pointy knife
Change your address and your name
And move on with your new life.

Dance with the wolves this is crap but one of the first poem i wrote that i really like :)
Dance with the wolves
In the wilderness dream
The will of strength and power
Or what it may seem

The river of the forest
Glimmering under the moon
And the pack came down to drink
As they'll be leaving soon

Life in the wild
A wonderful adventure
A feeling of freedom
Only the heart could capture

The togetherness of the brothers and sisters
For the alliance that ties the bond between each other
For all is for one and one is for all
That's the tradition that lives forever....


Well.. old times.. i dont have the inspiration anymore to write it.. Sigh.